truedreamerredeemed

Prayer is Needed and Appreciated

2011-12-14T23:57:00.002-06:00

Please don't tell me to hang in there. Please don't tell me to be strong. If I cry, it doesn't mean that I am loosing it. If I weep, it doesn't mean that I am weak. Please pray for me and know that I will be alright. I will be taken care of. I am in the best hands of all. I am in Daddy's hand.

Farmboy and Me

2011-10-30T22:13:00.002-05:00

Michael and I have been married for nearly 16 months now. This journey has not been anything like I thought it would be. I am learning to choose my battles and to let many of them go. If I don't let go, I find myself sick, physically. God is a faithful God who is working in me as I cry out to Him for refuge and strength in times of battle and in victory.

I never entered this relationship with the intent to change Michael, but my hope would be that he would change. Yes he has, and like me, we are a work in progress. There are the small changes that have taken place in both of us. Then there are the changes that have taken place because if not, we wouldn't still be married. I never thought it would be such a roller coaster ride.

Thankfulness, forgiveness, faith in God, and inviting Jesus into the center of all areas of my life is what keeps me going. Oh yes, I could choose to fall into the depression that knocks on my door. I choose not to. Being effective in the kingdom of God is what I am called to do. That has many facets to it, but being obedient to my calling is the most important objective in my life. Being a wife and being submissive, WOW!!!, I had no idea that it would be so hard! I don't take joking lightly when it is a constant companion of my mate's. I don't like it either. I am praying for Michael to hear me and to be sensitive to my needs in this area. Letting go in this area is so hard, but I am pressing in to Daddy for help.

In March I bought a puppy. His name is Frenchy LeRue. I never thought I would fall in love with a dog again after the ones that passed away. Frenchy has captured my heart from the first time our eyes met. I can only imagine when God gives me children what that experience will be like. I wait in expectation of what God has for me and my husband. I love Michael, his son Vinnie, and so many others. Jesus has filled me with this love for people. For this, I am thankful.

Please let me know if you read my blog. I know that you have to have a blog to post a comment. God Bless You!

Prayer and Jesus

2011-02-18T00:44:00.003-06:00

I am learning what it means to be a wife to a hurt man. It is ture that hurt people hurt people. If you are not healed, you will not learn how to treat others the way they really ought to be treated, with unconditional love. It is hard not to want to quit, to say that it is over, and then pack up the bags and go somewhere, anywhere, but here.

I am not quitting, but I have my boundaries. Jesus Christ is my lover and my husband first. I never thought I would be in the boat that I am sailing in today. Hope and prayers are keeping going. I ask you join me in praying for my husband and my marriage. I am applying grace as I have been given much grace. Forgiveness-I am willing to forgive. Unconditional love is in my heart, but I am so guarded. Is this really a marriage or just a mere arrangement between two people?

Christmas and New Life

2010-12-12T00:03:00.002-06:00

It has been sometime since my last posting. I am learning how to be a woman of God, a wife, a step-mom, and balance the life before me. I am grateful for the family of God who help me each day and pray for me each day.

I am blessed to be where I am today and will post a list soon.

Marriage

2010-05-01T09:14:00.002-05:00

I am about to be married. I am grateful to/for the friends I have who take the time to councel and love me through the tough times of walking through the uke! I am grateful for the issues coming out now between him and me. I am grateful to become his wife and lover. I pray that I may not be just those things, but to blossom into the woman I am becoming in Lord. I cannot die but live life in Jesus's love! I am to thrive and soar to new heights with this man that I will soon call "husband". Wow, what a day that will be. A day of joy and relief. A day of "let's get outta here!" and yet, the beginning of a life together that seems to have already begun.

I know things will be different for Michael and me, but yet, there will be the same two people who met, offically, for the first time over two years ago. We have been in front of each other our whole lives and now becoming one, in Christ Jesus.

I am asking for your prayers in this union of our lives. I thank each one of you for taking the time to stop by. Please leave a scripture, words of encouragement, or just read and pray. I appreciate each one of you today! God richly bless you and your loved ones!

A Season

2010-03-30T11:12:00.003-05:00

It seems to be a season of losses. This too will pass. My aunt past away on Christmas day and we had a grave-side service for here last Friday. I was reminded of the good times we had with her sister and my sister. It was a good time with cousins, siblings, and the older folks that I hadn't seen in years who where Aunt Betty's friends! I went to a visitation with my husband-to-be the week before and now another one tonight. A dear friend lost her aunt too. Death will never end and life does seem to carry on. We have to go on, carry on about our lives, and remember the to cherish the times with the loved ones who have gone on. This reminds me of a calling on my life. I am to be an evangelist, to disciple, encourage, and much more. I shall go on with my calling!

Blog Give Away

2010-03-27T02:05:00.002-05:00

I have been browsing other blogs with a dear friend. I came up this one that has lovely boxes. Oh how I would love these beauties.

For Better or Worse

2010-01-29T02:37:00.002-06:00

I can say to you for the first time in my life, I am INN-LOVE! To respond to my previous post, this relationship is to stay, until death due us part! Yes my dear friends and family, I am getting married.

It is so different than any other relationship I have ever been in. I don't feel like I have to explain, make excuses "why?", just introduce him. His name is Michael Dean Backeberg. I will get his name correct by the time it is my last name! He is a 40 year old farmer and mechanic. He is a child of the living God above all!

We have choosen July 10 at noon to be the time we are united as one. As I see a couple that I am very close to go through the aging process, I look at Michael and see many years of youth in both of us. One day, we too, will be aging and wondering how much longer can we go on. I know that I want to walk hand in hand with Michael into eternity. I have no questions, no doubts, a few fears, and a lot of love is in the air!

Oh, he treats me like a queen. I love him so much, there are times I just want to squeeze him sososososo hard and never let go! He has an adorable smile and giggle. He loves to pick on me and sometimes, it is too much! Now how about this, he told me to pick out a new toilet for our home. I thought that was sweet. I told him that we couldn't have a low sqatter! He just looked at me and laughed really hard!

I am the happiest I have been since I said yes to Jesus Christ being my Lord and Savior! Nothing will top that, I don't think! We are in the planning stages and I am working in Madison three days a week, driving an hour or so one way, full-time online student, and all the other things going on in my life.

I am blessed to be right where I am at. I am loved, cared for, cherished, taken care of, adored, and I was fearfully and wonderfully made in my mother's womb. I have been given this verse as a reminder of God's promises to me. I was not to worry about a husband, Daddy already had him picked out for me.

In five months, Michael and I will be saying our vows and I am blessed to be the future wife of Michael. His dad was singing today, "Here comes the bride!" I cryed!

Relationships Come and Relationships Go

2010-01-22T22:32:00.002-06:00

There has been a certain individual who has had an eye for me for two years. We would talk whenever we saw each other. I would pray for him often. I was always so glad to run into him in the grocery store or Culvers. As some of you know, I was engaged last year and then it came to an end the day after my sister's wedding. I am grateful that God does answer prayers and all things are in His timing. You see, I prayed that if this man that I was engaged to was not the right man for me, then God please end it! He did. Thank you Daddy!

I had run into this other certain individual during the time I was engaged and he just looked and got teary-eyed and put his head down. I thought, "Odd response, but okay." I suspected he liked me as he would ask my boss questions about me and others where I worked at the time-Pizza Ranch.

Several months back, I ran into this cute, farmboy again. He was glaring at my left hand and then began asking questions. I hadn't seen him in a few months and I was in and am in continual prayer for him. You see, I kinda liked him too. For whatever reason, I did and yes, I do like him beyond liking! He was so happy I didn't get married. He put his groceries down, kinda did a nervous dance, giggled beyond giggles, and then he said, "So you didn't get married huh? Do you want to go out tomorrow night? Culvers?" I stood there and had such joy in my heart that someone was so taken by me that is actually a good man and a hard worker. I was amazed.

I ask that each of you who read my blog, please pray for Michael and me. He gave his heart to the Lord and I am seeing changes in him that are exciting. For the first time in my life, it does not seem like "Too good to be true". I believe this relationship is here to stay!

Blessings!

Is Thanksgiving Over

2009-12-02T17:03:00.004-06:00

I think about certain holidays and how when they are over, sometimes they do seem to be over. Thanksgiving and Christmas are two of my favorite. To me, they are never over. I need to continue in a sprit of thanksgiving and praise as I am blessed with so much and there are days all I do is wonder what do I really have. MY BAD!!! Those are the times in which I get reminded of a home, food, friends, but above all, a Savior - Jesus Christ who came to us to save us from ourselves. Wow, what a concept! Jesus, you can have all of me, pour me out, and fill this shell with You - please!

Today I am home from work with severe headache and body aches. I am reminded that I have a bed to sleep in, water to hydrate myself, and other plumbing facilities. Thank you Jesus! No matter how bad I am or it seems, there are millions around the world who have it much worse than me. I am not to be a martor and poor me, but to be one full of praise and thanksgiving for all I have, not to focus on the perfect family that I don't have. God has me right where He wants me, in the center of His grace and provision! Happy Thanksgiving, Everyday Dear Friends!!!

Christmas is here, in spirit, today, and next comes the decorations! This will be fun! Blessings!

God Uses Many Things to Speak to the Depths

2009-11-29T00:45:00.003-06:00

Today I went on a day trip to Waupaca. I cannot say enough about how this trip has impacted me in so many positive and reflective ways. God used a friend to get me there and I am blessed by the turnout. I have had artwork speak to me, but nothing like what I saw today. It was as if the women in the pictures spoke to the depths of my heart. There was one of a Mom and her little girl. It reach in to where only God has stired me. It was as if He took me there to talk to me again. I love art so much and I used to draw and paint. I haven't done either for so long. I doodle here and there, but nothing like I used to. On the way home, I became aware of some things that I need to deal with in God's timing and not mine. He knows when I can handle them and when I can't.

I was taken out of the whole that I know and shown a place that exist and is reachable. It is this side of Heaven. I am amazed how the shops brought me to a place of peace and enjoyment that I have not experienced for what seems like a long time. Each one was refreshing and unque. I was reminded of talents God has put in me ad I don't necessarily use. I was taken to a place where God spoke to me and showed me His love for me. I was not thinking about what needs to be done when I get home. I was in the moment and that is so rare for me.

I am so thankful for have been shown these places and to go again, I will! There is artwork waiting and food to be discovered. There are corners to be visited and people and places to see. I am thankful for this day!

Why Am I Not in Bed?

2009-09-29T23:43:00.003-05:00

It is 11:43 p.m. and I should be in bed, but so much on my mind and burdened for the lost! I know I need to get up at 5:30 a.m. to spend time with Daddy. Why am I not in bed?

I stop and think of the ways that I can reach the lost souls in this city of Reedsburg and this city of Madison! I am a home-missionary and God has me here for a reason, a season, and I am full of His joy! I am so blessed to be able to live in Reedsburg, visit and work in Madison, and then while I travel, spend time with Daddy!

I haven't blogged for several months and am wondering if I should just quit it. I don't think so. I have people to reach for Jesus and this may be only one avenue. I am thinking about Face Book. Unbelievable! I just have hesitations and everybody has face book and I hear, "You got to get on!" No, no I don't but I might!

Okay, good nite world and Jesus does love you so much! I do too!

I Am Thankful For...

2009-06-02T13:18:00.002-05:00

...the redemption of the Cross.
...the forgiveness granted to me, an underserving.
...the job I have with Vector Sales & Marketing.
...the job I hope to get with Orbitec.
...the apartment I am making my home.
...the space I am given with this home.
...the dwelling in which I occupy is only a dwelling, not my real home.
...the person who has been with me through it all.
...the love I know that is within me to love you.
...the joy that is within me and bubbles out of me.

I am thankful that I am right where I am. It is causing me to perserve in the Lord. I am finding things out about me that I never knew about myself. I really am happy single, but do desire a husband and babies. God is my husband forever! I can't beat that! I am thankful for right where I am at!

I just looked out of my window and there was a baby. She couldn't be but only a year. She was playing with a ball in the parking lot. That ball is more than half her size. I am thankful for moments like this, when the Mom cames to her baby and claps for her, good job walking, getting the ball, and not running away or wondering off. Yes, I am thankful for right where I am at!

Blessings dear friends!

We All Need to be Heard and Encouraged!

2009-05-26T22:42:00.002-05:00

I am in a place that I have been told is "desirable". Well, yes, this place is drawing me closer The Husband that will never leave me nor forsake me. I am loved with the deepest love that only This Husband will provide. I am shown everyday just how much He loves me. Yes, my Husband is Jesus Christ!

I withdrawn at times because when I share, I want to be heard, not lectured or preached at. I need prayed for and prayed over. I also desire realness. I know everything is spiritual, but we need to bring a balance into the practical! I am hurting and don't want religion shoved down my throat. I have the best support system and such awesome friends! I rejoice and am so thankful for what I have. I praise God that He is dancing over me now! I am not trash, but I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I was formed in my mother's womb. That one gets me a lot as my mom was not a Mother to me for most of my life. I praise God for her and that she was used by God to bring me into this life. I pray for her healing and ask you to as well! She is in a nursing home and not well in the mind at all!!!!!!!

God is bigger than the rent due, utilities due, phone bill due, monthly payments that people wanted payed last year, etc. God is a big God because He is caring for you, me, and all of our brothers and sisters. God is a big God because He loves us so much!

This is the real side of me. I cannot hide under a rock and pretend that all is well. God will provide and I am hurting! God loves you and me and our brothers and sisters in His family! Yes, I know all these things. Here is the deal, I thank you for reading, praying, and loving God so much that you will pray for me and our brothers and sisters. Also, that you love God so much that you will pray for the lost souls and share Jesus with them. It is not about religion. It is about relationship. How are your relationships doing?

Yes, please respond and I will pray for you and all that you ask me to! God is a loving-God and I do trust Him! I love you and am praying for your relationships!

Update

2009-05-15T22:40:00.002-05:00

Peggy does have pnenonamonia. She said she felt better and needs prayers for strength. Please keep praying!

Jack is in bed. Cough has been better and productive. He is tired and just crabby! I would be to if I was in his shoes! I ask you to keep lifting him up in your prayers!

I had a talk with Timothy. It was just hard. I ask you to pray for repentance and brokeness for the glory of God! He is a hard man and prideful! It is hard to see someone like this! I have given him to God! He is not my project or mine at all!

Blessings dear ones! I am not a victim, but a child of God redeemed by grace and the shed blood of Jesus Christ!

Prayer Is Needed!

2009-05-15T12:15:00.002-05:00

I am asking all to pray for my friend Peggy Sharp! She is being admitted to the hospital as she began coughing up blood today! I am not sure what is wrong as of now. She called and asked that I would pass it on. Please pray!

I am here with Jack and he is sick, coughing, and exhausted! I have been encouraging him to rest. The head of the bed is up and he stopped coughing for now. He looks terrible and says he feels it! His cough is better, but please pray for him too!

I also ask for pray for Lynda! She is a might woman of God and only human! She is exhausted and in need of strength and endurance for the race she is running! My heart is broken for her and Jack! I am praying and helping as I am able! Please pray!

God is our refuge and strength! I am leaning on Him to help us all thru! Blessings!

New Direction

2009-05-11T23:41:00.003-05:00

I am going forward and not with Tim as my husband-to-be. He ended it today. I am asking for all to pray for healing and that he is blessed and healed, in Jesus Name! I am pressing in to finish school as of 12 a.m. Wednesday. I didn't expect I would get this sort of news from a friend. Then news that a friend of our family passed away the day of my sister's wedding. My sister was a care provider for this friend through home health!

I am asking for provision as now I have an appartment and all expenses to pay on my own. I know that God has a plan and I trust Him to provide!

Blessings!

Please Pray--Lord I Need You Always!

2009-05-08T11:46:00.003-05:00

Hello to my dear blogger friends, readers, etc. I am asking for prayer for my up-coming marriage. I am asking for prayer for my future husband and myself. I know I can't change him, nor do I intend to. I do, however, expect that if I am promised something, that the promise is kept. There are so many things with both of us. I am first to admit that I am far from perfect!

I am letting him go and giving him to Daddy as I know that is the only way for God to work is me getting out of the way. I do trust God with my huband! We have two and a half months left. We both need to loose wt. and be happy and positive. He lives in a very hard situation. I ask for you to please pray for God's will and that His will be done and walked out by both of us. Tim wants to take a third-shift job although, first and second are available. Just some of the things I am sharing that need prayer! In the midst, I draw close to God and He is close to me! This I am certain of!

Blessings!

Encouragement For You & Me

2009-02-28T21:34:00.004-06:00

"Encourage and Strengthen Him." Dueteronomy 3:28 This is what was one of my focuses this evening as I read this devotional. It is part two of "Be a 'builder-upper!'" God knew Joshua needed all the help he could get when lead the Israelites. He sent his mentor, Moses, to encourage and strengthen him!

God knows we each need help and He has put people in our lives to encourage and strengthen us! I am an encourager by nature. Lately, probably not so much to some and especially myself! I find there are some that it is easy to encourage and others, no matter what is said, well, bah humbug! I don't want to be in this intrapment of negativity!

Lately, I have been in the pit of uke and have been sorta kinda ignoring what God wanted to show me! I didn't realize that I was ignoring Him until about two days ago when I had a rude awaking! I realized that God was speaking into the depts of my inner most being! I sure needed to be encouraged at that moment and Daddy did!

Then, this eveing I ran across this devotional on encouragement. It states, "Everybody needs encouragement, including you! You need others to cheer you on when you've been battered by setbacks and circumstances. Correction does much, but encouragement does much more. It rekindles your spirit and gives you the oomph to keep going. Nothing can uplift more than the encouragement of a friend or loved one. It's the oxygen of the soul. Having run two miles, a person may need to pause and catch his or her breath before running another two. Before facing a formidable task, or even the wearying routines of life, a person needs to pause for encouragement before tackling the work ahead. So become oxygen to the souls of those around you. Strengthen them to persevere for the Kingdom. Encourage them with God's promise to work good in all things. Stop and think about somebody who could use a little encouragement, and before today is over, make it a point to get in touch with them."

"Let us pursue the things...by which one may edify (build up) another." Romans 14:19

I know a lot of people who need encouraged each step they take! I want to encourage you as you read this! You,_________, are loved and held up in His love and care today! You,___________, are not ever alone! You,_________, are watched over and sang over! You, __________, are in my prayers! I want to encourage you, I love and pray for you!

Until then, be blessed by God's best!!!

I Don't Believe in Good-Byes

2009-02-27T11:40:00.005-06:00

After much prayer and thought and talks and tugging-of-hearts, I have decided to move on and leave the Baldwin Household. This has got to be, if not the hardest, the next thing to the hardest thing I have done. I am so pulled in many different directions and feel horrible for moving-on! I am so torn over leaving Jack and Lynda, I feel sick and have a nasty of nasty headaches!!!

I deal with guilt and I know that this is not because of Lynda's words!!! There comes a time when we have to go on with our lives! I knew this time would come, but I didn't know it would be like this!

I am so blessed by Jack and Lynda! It is in the small things and in the big things! I am not sure where I will work, where I will live, but God is bigger than it all!!!

I got used to having internet and being able to submit homework at 12 a.m. and then get up at 6 a.m with crusty eyes! I loved the baths, hot water, laundary facilities, home-cooked Lyndee meals, her prayers at all hours of day and night. Lynda has been more of a mom to me than my own. True she didn't bring me into the world, but, in the three years that I have known her, she has spoken into my life more than my own mom. I have more support here than anywhere else. I cannot say "Thank You" enough to this woman that God has in my life!

I will never say "Good Bye" to Jack and Lynda, but it sure feel like a part of me is dying! May sound dumb, but I am so torn up!

I am such a sofety sometimes and sentimental and mushy! I pray blessings on Jack and Lynda, in the Name of Jesus Christ! I repect them and love them beyond words and any actions that I could do to try to show them! I have a special place in my heart for this couple, like I have never had for anyone else!

Lynda, thank you for all you have done, all you are doing, and all that you continue to do! I am now an avid reader! I have read two, almost three books, within a month! Unheard of for those who have known me for any length of time!

I am not sure, but it may be a spell before I am able to Blog again!

Blessings!!!

An Oppurtunity

2009-02-21T00:05:00.002-06:00

I lost my source of income today and at first it was like a hit in the gutt! Then, I remembered back when I was actually fired from the hospital I was working at! I wasn't fired this time. The money ran out for the work study program!

I am looking at this as an oppurtunity and not a let-down! I started looking for work for the summer last week. Funny how things work out for God's glory. After tour hours of phone calls, I ended up with what is not available. That means what is available is ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am excited to see what God has in store for the future! I am off this weekend to spend time with a friend a couple hours away! We have a wonderful time and the time just seems to run away from us! Maybe bowling and some hockey! Yeehaw!!!

A Big WELCOME to Jamie and Jessie as they are visiting us here in the freezer zone from Nashville!!! I am excited to them Sunday! Yah! I am excited for their Mom, especially and of course, Dad too!!!!

Happy Valentines Day!

2009-02-14T05:42:00.002-06:00

I want to say to all that I hope today is the beginning of many new friendships and blessed relationships repaired! I pray blessings on all you who I know and those I don't yet know!

Do you ever feel like you are being talked about, gossiped about, and/or just the only topic on people's conversation list? Why is that? Guilty complex? Worry and self-doubt? Or is it the truth? Are you being talked about and prayed for and at the top of discussion for people?

I think we all feel this way from time to time! I pray you are well-talked about and built up, not tore down and misunderstood! I pray that when you are thought of and spoken of, that it is with gentleness and compassion, not slander and misunderstanding!

Blessings on this day of love, love, and more love!!!

Keep Pluggin' Away!

2009-02-06T23:02:00.004-06:00

I am looking forward to spring and summer! I have never felt the smallness of winter until this winter! I have always enjoyed being inside during winter and just snuggling down at night and even during the day, I would take a nap! Now, I am on the go seemingly all the time!

School is going well! Lots of homework and another to start at the end of February and it is a two-weekender! Then another class starts right after that one ends! I will need to get another job for the summer. I pray that the job at the library doesn't end before the semester does! I have it good at this work-study job! I get paid to organize books, help students with whatever they need, and my own homework or projects I bring in! As long as I am open and am at work, things are good! I like to help other students with their homework and seeing them smile. Recently, I have had this one student who likes to pick a fight and I was ready! I didn't do anything I shouldn't have!The funny part was when the custodian came in and began praising me in front of the student. He followed her out into the lobby and proceeded to tell her that the whole thing about me keeping him in line with the posted rules was gender-bias! Okay!

I am plugging away with life, school, relationships, and relationship with Jesus Christ! I know that God has a plan for my life and He is faithful! I am blessed!

Reflection Of What I Am Grateful For!!!

2009-02-01T18:33:00.003-06:00

I have been focusing on God as I am going through the hard stuff! I know that as my focus stays on Him, I can go through anything! He is faithful to me and never leaves me nor forsakes me! I have had my focus on other objects that have lead me to believe oppisite of what God promises! I am repentant today and know that I need spiritual fasting, such as, no things that give me true, but false pleasure, if you will!

I left church a changed woman today! I had my focus on God and His will that I know He has called me to! I am joyful in a quiet manner, but do have joy in my heart! I am grateful, through it all, for Pam staying here! She is a woman in need of love and support, like myself! She needs acceptance, like myself! Pam is a support and part of the body of Christ! We are called to be there for one another, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable it may be for us!

What would you do if your friend had to leave like yesterday and had no place to go! I have my defense up so often as I am on protective-mode! I am laying it down and know God is my protector and lover! I need no man or woman to survive, just love and affection! People in the body of Christ are am encouragement for life!

I am grateful today for the situation I am in! I love each of you very much and pray blessings on each of you!

Now, off to work-out! Yes!! Finally, first time in over a week! Isn't life great?!?!?

How Many?

2009-01-24T23:01:00.002-06:00

I wonder how many more will I meet and then, there he is!!! Michael hasn't contacted me for two weeks and not responded to my numerous messages. I am so good with it all! I know that God has the right one out there and I do trust Him for him! I will be meeting another fella next Saturday. He is from Burnsville, MN. Hey Jamie, your former neck of the woods!!! He will drive here and then we will spend some time together and then I think he will go back home in the evening. We have been talking a lot on the phone, texting, emailing, and prayers for one another. It is so different than with Michael and the other fellas I have met. I want friendship first and then, see what happens. This is with any person that has expressed an interest in me.

I think Lynda is frustrated with the whole internet thing. I really wish there was a better way to meet people, but I go to a small church and no one there is what I would concider, well, you know!!!

I am taking one day at a time and letting God lead the dance! I know that I am where I am supposed to be for a season. How long of a season, God will show and direct my path! I want His will, not mine. I am corrupt and need Daddy!!!

School is a lot of work, but I am enjoying the homework, working in the campus library, and then home evenings, 6 or 7 and watch some t.v. with Lynda. I am amazed at all the homework for accounting! Wow, a lot of it is not assigned but the instructor said, "I hope and trust you will do the work not assigned." I will work on this as my assigned homework is completed. I have until Tuesday at 8:30 a.m. to complete it.

Blessings and have a blessed Sunday! I am looking forward to sweet fellowship and communion with Father!

What Is God Preparing You and Me For?

2009-01-18T22:08:00.001-06:00

Church was awe-inspiring today! I was filled with encouragement and hope during worship and then again at the end of the service! I have been wondering what God is preparing me for? Not just going to school and the normal day to day activities, but really what is God doing in me and for what purpose of His? Then as I was listening to Pastor Clark speak, it was like God yelled in my ear! I jumped and was filled with such peace and contentment! God is in control of my life because I give it to Him. I don't want to be outside of His will the least bit! It was at that moment when Pastor Clark was referring to David and how he must have prayed for his sheep he tended. Think on this: David prayed asking God to protect his sheep from bears, lions, tigers, etc. God didn't always do so. Why not? If God always spared David from fighting such animals, how would David be trained well enough to fight Galiath? Good question!!! Step furter: David was trained to fight Galiath to prepare him for the next step, which was what? Yes, to be a king of a nation! If God hadn't taken David through each process of training and tough love, if you will, how would David have been able to be king if he couldn't fight the giant if he couldn't fight a bear, lion, or wolf or his own fear?

I began to think of the things in my life I find difficult to bear and go through! There are things that have seemed simple to begin with and then as I pressed in and really experienced all the different aspects of things, I see that there are challenges in everything which seemed sweet to begin with! I am so in awe of God and how He puts things together and people together to help each other out and through! I am reminded of the scripture, "He works all things together for good according to His purpose!" I am grateful for this cripture for many reasons!!!

What is God preparing me for? I have a better understanding of some of the things He has called me to do! It is not just living here in a small home with three other bodies and the fourth one comes in on occation (two people and two dogs)! It is not just to go to school to get a better job and pay off debt and make a better income. It is not just, just, just. It is all of the above and much much more! I am excited as I am getting closer to Daddy and Jesus! The Holy Spirit does work through things and convict! I am also reminded of the scripture: "There is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!" I am holding this close to my heart tonight! I have felt so condemned and not understood why! Well, it is not Jesus condemning me! I now know that!

Blessing as you search God and find what He is preparing you for!!!

God is Here, Right Here!!!

2009-01-17T20:56:00.002-06:00

I am so encouraged at a time when the world is spinning, wondering what is happening to the economy! I know that God is here right in the midst of it! He has a plan for our church. He has a plan for your future. God has a plan for me and all my days are numbered according to His perfect will! Here I am Lord!!!

I think of a blog I recently read talking about dancing! As I read it, I was reminded of my prayer to Jesus as I go through the hard times and easy times. I ask Him to "please lead this dance Jesus! I don't know the steps ore how to dance without your lead!" It is awesome when sisters and brothers in Christ are on the same page. When we have issues that are a like, we can learn from one another and pray with and for one another! I pray for you tonight, as I am going to turn in early, for me ten is early! My prayer is that as you go forward with whatever it is you seek to find and accomplish, that Jesus is in the middle of the planning and not just a mere thought! I pray you ask Him into it and not come along side it!

The night before this semester started, I asked a dear friend to pray with and for me! I was not doing so well that night, but in the midst of the tears and termoil, God showed me that it all is not so bad! School is for learning and getting a career! God is for life! As I think on these two statements, I am in awe of how personal God really is! He knows each hair on my head and your's too! He knows when we will die and go dance with Jesus! He knows how much money we should be allowed to have and not to have! This is for each person, not just a few! God Is A BIG God!!!!

I also wanted to share something that has never happened to me in my life of going to school and college. I made it on the honor role once in high school and once in jr. high. That was all! Yesterday, I received several mailings from my college I am currently attending. In the thinnest envelope contained a letter from the president of the college. I thought cool-I looked at the ending first and not the beginning as I like to know who has sent me mail!!! I was so excited to learn that for the first time in my life, I made the Dean's List!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOWWWHHHHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! I was so excited I called Lynda and she well she was excited, I know she was!!!:):):)

Blessngs as you go forward!

Short and Need You!!!

2009-01-11T21:53:00.003-06:00

The past two days I have been down! Today and tonight, I feel like I am in a pit! I am crying out to God, literally! I am not sure why I am so down, but that satan wants me there! I am asking for your prayers for each day this week, please pray for me! I am so desperate for God, so in need of Him and His touch! Blessings!!!

Prayer Request for Michael!

2009-01-10T20:45:00.002-06:00

I am asking those that I know who would pray to please pray for Michael. He is in the midst of a decision whether to remain here in the states or go to Holland or London where he has his masters already. He is in need of being open to God leading him and not asking God to join him! I ask you for prayer in this manner and however else you may be lead to pray for him!

We talked for a while today and I am in a place of what God wants is what I want! I desire to hate all He hates and to love all He loves!!! I don't want to be out of His will for anyone or anything! I have a renewed sense of God's love for me! I have struggled with this for many years. I know many people struggle with acceptance and the need to be loved, but not really having the need met! I now know that there is only One who can give this kind of love all the time whenever needed! Jesus Christ is one who will never leave us nor will He foresake us! Thank you Jesus!!! My identity can no longer be in the approval of others nor can I expect people to validate me! This is so hard for me! Where am I going, not sure! Just sharing what God is showing me in His all powerful love!!!!

God bless you and may His face shine upon you as you draw close to Him!!! Blessings!!

School Starts Monday!!!

2009-01-09T23:28:00.002-06:00

Haven't talked to Michael in a week. We have texted a couple times and emailed. He is concentrating on college and career! It is good to see this in a man! I have been with too many that I was just dumb!!!!! I keep thinking that singleness is the best way! Then, I really want to be loved by that man that is just for me! Enough on that!

I am feeling the pressures of life and wonder how long things will continue as they are? I start school again on Monday. Working 14 hours and taking 12 credits. I wonder if the excitement will come again as I have always loved learning and looked forward to college! This semester, I just feel like I am going to craiter before I am even stated! Life at home is full of adventure! I feel like I am more of a bother to Jack and Lynda and that no matter what I do, there is always a list that needs done! I feel like I have disappointed them and yet, how can I do anymore than what I am doing? I feel burned out and exhausted! I know Lynda and I both need a lone time and quite time and time with no one around! I gave her a few hours a lone and took Jack with me on New Year's Day before I left to get Michael from the airport! I know it wasn't much, but I did all I could do!

I try so hard to help her and I feel like it is never enough! I know Lynda is running on the strength of Jesus Christ! I know she is worn out and in need of refreshment! I promised myself a week away in December-never happened! It seems like the time Lynda and me are together is based on taking care of Jack and work! I long to take a vacation with Lynda and just let us be ourselves without a care in the world! I am so grateful when I need prayer at night, she is more than willing to come and pray! I have never had that in my life prior to living here! I thank God for Lynda and I thank Lynda for giving of her time late at night when I have a prayer need!!!

I usually don't blog about home life as I am really sensitive about not wanting to say things that may hurt anyone! I usually write down my thoughts, but tonight I decided after reading, I would blog about some of the things on my heart and mind!

I have been three days sorting, packing up, organizing, and reorganizing my things in the closet and living room! Last semester, I had college books on the floor. I don't want to do this anymore as it looks trashy and unthoughtful! I have purchased one bookshelf and will get another to have a place to put my books when I am not using them! I need to keep organized!

I have been on this diet for almost four weeks. I have noticed changes and not liked most of them! I will be joining a club as I am not able to work out at home! It is hard, but when all are in need, we all need to work together to get through it together!

I love Lynda and Jack so much! There are times that my heart aches! Sounds crazy I know! I have a great deal of respect for both of them and don't want to ever hurt them! I know I have and never have intentionally done so! Please forgive me Lynda in letting you down!

Blessings dear readers!

The Man Flew In...--Part II

2009-01-09T00:01:00.003-06:00

We had time a lone in the car, which proved to be not such a great way to try to talk. I couldn't hear him and kept saying, "Pardon me" or "Sorry, I can't hear you!!" Finally, we just listened to music and sang our hearts out to the Lord! We went out once to Chinese and that was interesting. Michael talked more to the Chinese workers than he did to me. It was great to see him interact with them as not too many people know the language nor speak fluent Chinese. Michael has been to China and speaks the language very well! I sat there and nodded for most of the time! Very interesting!! Most of the time a lone with Michael was not talking but worshipping the Lord and singing! I really enjoyed him sharing the music he uses in his devotions! I also had a few songs to share with him and we didn't know that the other wanted to share music with each other. I thought that was interesting!

Michael is very goal driven and career minded! He knows what he wants and needs to do to accomplish the goals he has set for himself! He is having some difficulties with the University he is trying to transfer from! I ask that you would please pray for clairity and truth to be shown in this situation. We haven't spoken on the phone since he left. We have emailed and texted everyday, just to check in with each other. It seems weird not talking everyday, but am so busy getting organized for my next semester of college that I don't miss the interaction until I sit down at night and then I pray for Michael a lot!!!

We clicked and know we want to build a friendship/relationship! We both desire to accomplish things in life and have set goals that we want to meet! Neither of us are set on reaching the final goal before a relationship, if that were to happen! We desire God to lead the dance above all! Not to let the flesh rise up and lead, but discipline the flesh and invite Jesus into the center of the friendship/relationship!

Michael has agreed to come back here one or two more times within the next three months before I will make plans to visit him on his turf! I am not able to get away very easily and told him that! I know that time will tell all things!

For the first time, I don't have anxiety that I have to know where he is or be with him all the time! I know that he is in the best hands of all-Daddy's! He is a special young man who is after the will of God! He is active in his church and loves God! It is so apparent when you spend time with him. I was so greatful that we spent a lot of the visit with other people. We could see each other interact with others.

Other than the welcoming meal that was so beautiful, thank you again dear Lynda!!!, the highlight of Michael's visit that we both enjoyed was the time on Friday night of last week. We stayed up with my dad, sister, and her finance playing Attack Uno!!! I could not believe that I won that game!!!!!!!!! I have only won one other game of Attack Uno! I couldn't believe it! Michael never got above negative 20. We play to whomever gets to 500. You can also go out backwards. That's what I usually do!!!

I ask for your prayers for this friendship/relationship! I am so glad for the support system I have in the Name of Jesus Christ!! I truely am blessed! Thank you for reading and praying!! Blessings dear ones!!!

The conclusion of the visit will be in the next blog!

The Man Flew In And Is Back Home!

2009-01-04T21:28:00.002-06:00

His name is Michael, born in Guana, and same age as me! Wow!!! I thought for sure when he called and said things weren't good at all that he was not coming January 1. He said he was in an accident at the airport and had to take a later flight. He had to pay an additional fee to change flights due to missing the plane. It was not even his fault, but the man who hit him! I went to Madison to get him to find that the only "posted" flight coming in from Cincinatti was at 9:30 p.m. "YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KINDING!!!!!!!" is what I said out loud and had quite a few looks! Sorry!!! I had a laugh myself! I tryed finding someone who could tell me that there surely had to be an early fight coming in! The man at the counter said, "Oh mam, please wait as I check it out for you." I am pacing thinking what else? (Don't want to know.) He comes back out and said that there should be one at 5:30, but not sure! I say,"WHAT YOU GOT TO BE KINDING! YOU DON'T KONW!" Sometimes I am so reactive when under pressure!! I had tryed calling and texting Michael and never answered me. Yes, I got worried until they annouced the arrival of flight____ from Cinncinati has arrived. Then the longest wait or so it seemed for him to come down the escalator! Ten minutes late, Michael comes down, waving at me, all smiles!!!

Then we were off to get a home-cooked meal back here at home! I walked in and just about cryed all over again! The table was so beautiful and the house was so warm and peaceful with sax music playing! I couldn't help, but tear up when Lynda greeted us!

It was like the airport never existed!! All cares of the day were gone!! All pain was never felt!! Only love was all I felt when I came home! I thought this woman must have busted butt to get this done in the time I was gone to get Michael!! SHE DID!!!! I love you and thank you so much Lynda!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will continue the visit on the next blog! Blessings!

A Short Visit Will Just Have To Do For Our First!

2008-12-27T23:29:00.002-06:00

Michael is flying into Madison on January 1, 2009. What a way to start out a new year! I am excited! He is nervous and scared! He will be flying back to Delaware January 3. WOW!!! Short visit, but he has reasons why and I respect them! I ask for prayer as we take this step of faith. We both desire the will of God in our lives! Neither of us want to be with the wrong person! We are in agreement and on the same page! Time will tell all things! Not my will, but thine be done Lord!!

Blessings!!!

He Is Coming To Me!!!!

2008-12-27T11:10:00.004-06:00

After much prayer and seeking God, he has decided he needs to come to me!!! Thank you Daddy for hearing my plea! I spoke the truth to Michael and he said he never wanted me to be uncomfortable. He actually stated just the opisite several times! He was trying to figure things out that was the best for both of us! I am thankful he hears God and listens! I found a place for him to stay and I will be there with him and my sister and my dad and my sister's fiance. There will be plenty of supervision!!!! Funny how this sounds, but I don't want any Christian's witness to be compromised when there is a choice of free-will!!! I am blessed by this man and pray for God's hand, direction, and wisdom!

I am excited and yet guarded! If all goes well, he will be here next week sometime! I ask for your continued prayers! Blessings be upon each of you!

Reflection

2008-12-26T22:49:00.004-06:00

After a few hours in a small house with about 13 people, I came to a point that I just wanted air! When I went to my brothers house that is about 20 minutes away from Reedsburg, I knew before I left Reedsburg that it was going to be a difficult visit. I did not know I was going to be the one to walk out after being there only five minutes!!!!! You see, I have this thing that I pray is now resolved. My brother's girlfriend has not liked me from day one and everytime, exept Thanksgiving at the same place, she doesn't talk to me unless I say something first. She walks right by me and just mumbles!

I decided that I didn't want to be put in jail for running over my brother because he wouldn't get out of the middle of the road and let me drive away as I requested of him! I really didn't want her to win and so I let the words that my sister and brother told me sink into my inner being and penatrate me! For the first time ever, I felt the support of my biological family at the same time! I was overwhelmed and my brother's girlfriend and I kept distance until the last 45 minutes I was there. Then we had to sit in the same room to open gifts! I knew that I was correct in the things I spoke to her. I showered her with love and applogies and all she could do was rip me apart! You know, I thought at one moment when I was sitting in my car, what did Jesus feel when everyone betrayed him. He died in the midst. I am free because I chose to tell her before I left, "I love you very much. I will never stop loving you. I am sorry there has been this tention and it stops now!!" She couldn't speak and she and I held each other in an embrace where I prayed over her blessings in the name of Jesus Christ!!

I care about what people think of me and about me. When it comes to my family, I haven't been supported much at all. I am looked upon as different and rebellious! I am to the ways of the world and I love the person whom God is transforming me into! I don't want to quit, give up, or fail. I am learning, loving, and leaning on God as I go forward!

I appreciate all I have and the things I need are being provided for by the living and awesome God!! Blessings as you go through your trials and blessings as you stand in the name of Jesus Christ!! Loving you!!

Christmas Is Not Just December 25!!

2008-12-26T17:30:00.002-06:00

Christmas is truely everyday for me! Through my attitudes and challenges lately, I find myself in awe of what Christmas really is about! It is not the food that I am longing to eat that is not healthy nor good for me at all! It is not that I cannot have that homemade fudge that is sitting on the counter that smells divine! It is not about the potatoes and cranberry sauce that stares at me when I sit down to eat a plate of raw veggies! It is not about what I cannot have or do not have! It is, however, about a Man who came to earth as a baby. He was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, tempted by the devil, saught God for all things, and died for you and me!!! That is not the end! He rose on the third day. Walked and talked with His disciples and then accended into Heaven to sit at the right hand of our Father in Heaven-His Daddy and my Daddy too!!

I have had a hard time getting through this holiday season because my focus has been on me and what I cannot have to eat! I am pushing through the struggle to see health and prosperity, not continued health issues, disease, pain, and death at a young age! I will push through with a renewed sense that I know in whom I believe and am pursuaded He is able to take me through because He brought me to!!!

I truely am filled with Joy Joy Joy today as I am a lone at the house with time to think and reflect. Jack and Lynda away with family and I was going to go but another option to see my niece came up and I jumped. You see, I have not seen her for nearly three years and from what I have been told, she has changed and is developing into a young lady! I don't want to miss see her! She is like a daughter to me. I help my brother raise her and her brother for a period of time. What an eye opener for me! She came to see me as a mother-figure and I saw her as a daughter-figure. I always told her not to disrepect her true mother as she won't want to regret it later!!

I am working at church right now and am glad that I have this time alone! I love being at a place with quietness and solitude where I can commune with Daddy! There is nothing like that in the world, just me and Daddy! I don't spend enough time with Him and I know it! I am working out my salvation and know that I am loved with an everlasting love! I love God more than anyone or anything! I desire to be in the center of His will for me. I don't want to be to the left or to the right!

I am asking for God's direction with meeting a fella who lives in Delaware. He has been trying to find a flight for me and a place to stay as I won't stay with him alone without his sister there. She won't be coming home from Ghana when orginally thought! God is a good God! He has our best interests in His hands! Yes, I do trust Him!!

I pray your Christmas day was great! I pray that everyday you keep Christmas in your heart!!!

Here's loving you!!

So Much On My Mind!!

2008-12-21T21:40:00.002-06:00

I started internet surfing on a Christian dating site! I keep asking why am I doing this? I desire to be in the will of God so much, my heart aches! I have come across a fella on the site who seems to be sold out 100 percent for Jesus Christ! At the same time, I keep thinking about this other person who I care a great deal about, but it seems that there are so many unfavorables with him! He is desiring growth in the Lord, a wife/mate, and not sure about the rest! He is older than me. I have spent a lot of time with him! I am able to be me and I feel security and a safeness with him! I know that God is bigger than my desires and He will guide me as I seek Him!

I have had a lot of shame and condemnation from my family for so many of the choices that I have made! I know that it is my responsibility to ask Jesus Christ into this! I cannot let what others say and do be a deciding factor for me to become hard-hearted and bitter! I have tended to be a people-pleaser. What about a God-pleaser? That is what it is really about! Am I out to satisfy people or God? I have failed miserably and I know it! I have disappointed my Daddy and savior, and I know it! I have caused sadness to my God! I am here to say that I know that I am a child of the living God, saved by grace, and pressing on towards the goal-Heaven!!

I have taken a proactive approach to my health issue and become serious enough to go through a serious change in my lifestyle and get healthy! I am not eating sweets, sugars, fake sugars, diet or regular pop, fried foods cooked only in coconut or olive oils only, black tea and coffee (no creamers!!!!!!!!!!!)! There is no more grains, anything white except califlower, no popcorn, corn, candy, goodies, ice cream, any dairy is gone, except goats milk! I am loving goat yogurt!! Ummie!! It has maple syrup in it, but, not much! You may ask, what am I eating? Well, mostly raw veggies, raw nuts, raw pumkin seeds, veggie chips, chicken, salad, water, water, water, more water, lemons, gala apples, more water, and Jesus!! I can have meats that are not injected with hormones or antibiotics! Absolutely no pork or seafood. I am taking enzymes, hydrochloric acid, a lot of c, d, iron, strong multi that the body can actually absorb! I have been craving beets! Not sure why! Oh yah, no butter! I have been detoxing the past two days and have a feeling that it is not over! I didn't even go to church this a.m. as I could hardly stand up much less walk! I am so cold and tired! I ache all over! I am looking forward to health and wholeness!! I praise God for a Godly woman whom He has placed in my life that won't let me get away with any cheating, although I get real angry when she says no to ice cream for my late birthday celebration with my girlfriend!!

I finished the semester of college with a 3.65 gpa! That is a record for me! I have never had such good grades!! I was getting two failing grades, from all of my absentees for the semester, the last week of school. I worked extra hard and it paid off!! I was so happy and couldn't understand when I told people why they weren't more like dancing for joy with me than just I am happy for you! Okay, I had expectations that some would dance with me, I admitt! Jesus did!! College starts back up January 12.

Wow, this is long! I am planning on flying, for the first time, to Newark, Delware, in January! I am excited as I had stated, I have never flown before and now at 30, I am seeking new adventures, probably flying alone!! When I watched Autralia, I had the experience that I felt like I was in an airplane! For the first time, I didn't close my eyes or scream at the feeling of falling from the sky! (I hate those dreams!!) I enjoyed the movies so much, I want to watch it over and over!!

I will blog again soon! I am experiencing some family issues this year as the Christmas season is here and I won't be with them! I have to do what I have to do! I ask for prayer for my family and their hard-heartedness and disapproval of me!

Blessings!

Obedience To The Father!!

2008-12-12T11:08:00.003-06:00

When you know that you know that you know you are being asked to do something that is not going to be pleasant, but you have to do it. You know what I mean? There has been this certain gentleman that I have been trying to be at a friendship state with and just get to know each other. Well, I think it is not working all that well. He wants to do the things that people who are getting married do. I cannot take the pressure nor do I want him to continue to believe that I am his wife to be, especially when I have doubts and questions!! When someone doesn't know himself, what he wants, it is hard to try to bring someone else into the picture. I know I have at least another two years of school. I need to stay in this area until I am released! That I know I have not been released and don't think that it is going to be within the next year or two. I am seeking God on every area of my life and don't want to miss what He is asking of me! Believe me, I desire a godly-man who is so in love with Jesus, he is bubbling! I want lots of children or as many as God blesses me with! I don't want any of these things outside the will of God however!

I know in whom I believe and trust. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that I deserve the best man that God has for me and I am not to settle for anyone less than God-picked and delivered! I am at a point in my life, now more than ever, that all I really desire is to be where God wants me. As I go through the fire, I am seeing the love of the Father more than ever. He is giving me His love through being with Him in the alone times with Him. God is showing me with His love through His children. He is showing me that as I go forward, I am never alone nor am I forsaken!!

It is trying times for all! God is on the throne and here am I Lord! Send me!!

He is sending people!

Blessings!

A Request Of Readers Of My Blog!

2008-12-07T17:06:00.002-06:00

If you would and are able to, please sign in as a follower and leave me a comment as words are important to me! Thank you for taking time to stop by!!

Blessings!!

Oh My!! It Is Cold!!

2008-12-07T16:37:00.003-06:00

I was out about two hours yesterday and my face was on fire whenever I came in last night and today. Then again today, I have been out in the piercing wind putting the letters up at church in the outside sign. I never can remember the correct name for it! I was greatful for the second pair of hands! Then I walked to the neighbors and it is cold!!

I was driving in the blizzard and I really wanted to go to an empty parking lot and do some wheelies. I felt like a kid today!!

After our church service today, I think I had so much on my mind, I was spinning. I continually had someone asking me questions. "When are we going? Why are standing here? What are we waiting for? Well, I guess I might as well go and just sit!" I just looked at the gentleman and said that I need thirty seconds and I will start the car, pull it up to the door so you don't have to walk down the hill and take a chance in falling, and then we can go home for some hot chili! His reply was simple "Sounds good!" (with a laugh)

I am blessed and encouraged and relieved and challenged all in one day within a few moments of each other. When financial matters get discussed, it is always personal and people tend to get defensive. For the first time, I didn't get defensive! I just felt a peace that God is taking care of me! Peace!!! Thank you Lord!!

Blessings on this wonderful winter day!!

This Pictures Warms Heart!!

2008-12-06T23:02:00.002-06:00

I was reading one of the blogs I follow and I saw this. I have never been so moved in so many ways at once!! I love this picture of Lynda and her grandbaby!! Two children at play and not a care in the world at that moment in time!! I love it!!

I just did something I have never done myself!! Lynda has always died my hair. Not to mention, I had never had my hair died until I met Lynda! If you visit her blogsite that is linked to the picture, you will see the new me!! I would not have look this lady-like if I hadn't encountered the new me that came out after I have lived with Lynda! Okay!! She is rubbing off and I am loving it!!

I am finding that there is a femine side of me that I have never let blossom. It is kinda scary and yet, freeing to allow it to blossom!! It is amazing what God can do if you let Him take the wheel! Here is my wheel Daddy! Lead me!!

I am asking for prayer as a few things are happening in my life that could be life-changing, depending on the outcome, obviously! I go see a specialist on Wednesday and am not looking forward to it. I am also wanting options and answers. I am on a three-month friendship trial-basis run thingy with a fella who is determined he wants to marry me. I am asking all to pray as I may have in previous blogs. I really want to hear God, not T, not flesh, not me! Only God's will do I want in my life!!

Blessings on all who visit here!! Blessings on all who don't, too!:)

Winter Is In The Air!

2008-12-02T22:25:00.002-06:00

I shoveled for the third time today before heading off to class and then work! It felt good about an hour later. I had a little more energy and the job is done till the next snow fall!

I am excited that Jack and Lynda will be coming home tomorrow evening/night! It seemed weird and good for them to be away with their daughter and son in law and other family members for the week. Here, I, feel as overwhelmed now as I have been feeling. The added stress is that I want to make sure the house is clean for Lynda to come home to. That really blesses her and I try to bless her in ways that I know bring a smile to her face and a warmth to her heart!!

I feel like I am on edge a lot lately. My health is better than a lot of others! I know that the condition that I am dealing with is serious and not to take God for granted is essential! I praise Him for the healing He continues to do! I know I have a big part in it too!

Blessings to all!!

You Are On A High...

2008-11-30T21:30:00.002-06:00

You are on a high and then, boom!!!!! I had such a wonderful day yesterday with my brother and family, as I shared with you yesterday! Today, I get asked if I said something that I know I didn't. My brother's girlfriend is back on her thing and mad at me again. I tryed to clear it up and tell her that no matter what, I love her and just want to know the truth. Well, she wouldn't even talk to me!! What can I say? I tryed!!

I think of how disappointed Jesus must be with all who take His name in vain. For all, He gave all!! I am sorry for the lost and continue to seek God how to reach the people He desires to be in Heaven!

I pray you have a blessed night sleep and day tomorrow!!

I shoveled two inches after church. There is at least three more waiting to be shoveled in a.m.

Blessings on Lynda and Jack as they are away traveling!! I love you two!!

Today Was Such a Blessing!!!

2008-11-29T23:57:00.002-06:00

When you ask people to pray and they do, you can tell!! Thanks to all who prayed!! I went to my brother's house that he has down here, in Cazenovia, 20 minutes away. He also has a house in Bloomer, WI. We had a wonderful time of my first turkey of the Thankgiving season and much more. I am so proud of myself for actually not over-eating this year! It helps not feel well, too! HHHMMM....

There are those moments that you just want to never end!!! Yes, today was one! It was such a wonderful gathering of mixed families, girlfriends, fiance', sisters, brothers, cousins, nieces, nephews, and grandpa/dad! I found out that not only is my sister getting married in May of next year, but both of my brothers. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is what I say!! WOW!!!!!!!!! April, May, and not sure-June, July, or August! Dad and I just looked at each other as this was not public info as far as to my brothers getting married. You know when one lady has a diamond on her hand, it is not too hard to figure out something is brewing. My brother just looked at me and said, "Oh, news to me. I am not getting married. What you talkin' bout?" I am not dumb nor was I born yesterday or the day before!! Hello Tracy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then the BIG question was, "Auntie, when you getting married?" My answer is, "He is out there and he is the best one for me because I am waiting on God, although I may not be very patient at times!"

Then, such a tender moment!! My little nephew of two years and a few months had been flying through the house picking up slivers in his feet and Mommy picking them out! He was bouncing in a chair and he literally bounced from chair to rubbermaid container to the couch and then...caboom on his head on the wood floor that hasn't had carpeting laid yet!! The house went silent and then a hugh scream! I had to fight not to cry with him as he was holding his head and Mom nor Dad could comfort him! He ran to hind behind the blanket hung as a door to the upstairs and cryed and cryed and cryed, holding his head! I called out to him, "Haden, come here." He would stop crying look and then turn around and continue on crying. I had my arms out for him to come. After a few times of me calling out to him, he came to me with his arms out-stretched for me to pick him up! He put his head on my shoulder and stopped crying as I began praying and talking to him. I could hear him say, "Auntie". Oh my heart melted and I have tears in my eyes now just thinking back to that moment. The truth is, this was the first and only time I have ever held Haden. It was so touching as he would pull away, look at me, smile, and then lay his head back down on my shoulder.

Is this not what God is asking of His children? For us to run into His arms and be held by Daddy? Oh today, I ran to Daddy and He is still holding me tight!! I have had a new joy put in my heart!! It is the joy that only Big Daddy in Heaven could put in me. I am so blessed by the little things that I so often take for granted and don't even realize that I am doing it! Forgive me Daddy!!

I pray you are blessed by this blog. I have enjoyed sharing with you!! Have a blessed Sunday!!

And to all, a blessed good night!

It Is Hard When You Know You Have To Do Something That May Hurt Someone Else!

2008-11-28T14:02:00.002-06:00

I had asked a friend to go with me to Madison as I sometimes have trouble staying awake especially with Jack, as he doesn't talk much. I also thought that it would be good for us to get to know each other better. This is the gentleman who is 26 years older and dead-set on marrying me! The trip was great Wednesday. He wants to change his life-style and get healthy, and on and on and on. I stated that this change has to be because you want it and that you know God has called you to it. Do Not Do This For Me! It won't last if you don't do it for someone else! All was great! We had a wonderful time! You already hear the BUT... don't you?

I asked if he wanted to come have Thanksgiving with me wherever it be. Plans changed I think four times, at least! He didn't care as long as he was with me! I thought, oh boy! He's got it bad!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept telling him that he is not marriage material for me. I am not ready. I have two years here. He was all fine as long as we could be together. I didn't want to hurt him, but may be it would have been better to say, no, go do what you where going to do. This way a great eye-opener tho!

Sorry, I am jumping ahead, maybe! We ended up at Dad's and Heather's place with Dale, Heather's fiance (my sister) and then T and I. All was fine till they ate supper as I was not feeling well! Then, things got uncomfortable and I finally just said to T, we need to go! Again, he said he was just fine with that! I couldn't get away fast enough. I didn't understand until I got home and then God spoke to me last night and then today.

I told T on the way home that I cannot be in a realationship with him! I see him as only as a friend! He is ten chapters ahead! HOLD ON BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally just said today that I am not feeling well! I need space and will not spend anymore time with him for now. I will not go dancing with him and the other couple tonight! I thank God for, once again, prayers and opening my eyes!!!!!!!!! He is so giving and that is when you have a messed up thinking that may be.... Been there and don't want to go back!

I ask that you please keep T in your prayers as I cannot believe he is as fine as he says. If he is, great! I told him over and over that he was getting his hope way too high and that he could get hurt!! Thanks for reading and praying!!

Blessings! I am going with my sister and her fiance tonight and watch them dance. This time, I think it will be good!

I have a family Thanksgiving in Cazenovia with my brother and the gang. Please, pray this is a time of blessings and not the usual!! Thank you!!

I have sosososo much to do this weekend and feel sick! God is in control and I love Him above any man!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

2008-11-27T00:09:00.003-06:00

Before I slip off into sleep land, I thought I would blog! It is interesting how God blesses you when you least expect it! Is that not how God works or so it seems sometimes! I was going to stay home and have a quite day with the dogs. Then, a friend said that we should hang out. Then, my sister, dad, her future husband, and another friend where coming to have a meal and I was going to cook. Now, I think that all has changed again. We all will be going to a new restaurant here Reedburg. hhhmmm.... I hope it is better than the last two times and the only two time I ate there! God bless that business!

What are you thankful for today? My list is long and I will share a few!!
1) The saving grace and mercy of Jesus Christ!
2) Church family, Jack and Lynda, and other friends who love me!
3) It is a joy to care for one and hear, "Thanks sweetie!"
4) Home, bed, food, warmth, and all in that category!
5) Lynda's awesome cooking! I miss it a lot when she is gone. I miss her when she is unable to cook, like Monday nites!
6) The day to day challenges that cause me to press in to Jesus!
7) An interesting fella in my life who is determined to marry me! One day at a time and we will see now, won't we?
8) Homework! I love school and to learn new things!
9) Spelling tests! It gives me a chance to hear Lynda get wound up while I struggle through studying the 20-word list with her!! I love you Lynda! You are awesome!!
10) I am most thankful that I am free to worship a loving God and have a friend who is closer than a brother or sister!
11) I am so thankful for my health and that I can drive and ride and walk and run and dance!
12) I am thankful for you!

Blessings to all in Jesus's Mighty Name!!

It Is Going Around!

2008-11-26T08:22:00.002-06:00

Good Morning, in Jesus Name! Well, the throwing-up bug is making it's rounds! This time, with body aches and chills. Lynda has it and in motel on her way to Nashville! I am here in the comforts of my own bed, praise God, and well, yah!!

Asking all to please pray for strength as tomorrow, well, no gobble gobble here unless this clears up!! Thank you for you prays friends!!

I am thankful for you!

Do You Really Want What You Pray For and How Bad?

2008-11-23T19:03:00.002-06:00

Wow, without going into great detail, I had been seeking the Father about a certain area in my life. Wanting to be in complete submission to God, I just want His will in every area! I really had prayed specifically and the very next day, it was a blow-me-away moment! I am continuing to seek the Father and ask that you join me in His will for a mate in my life!

Be careful what you pray for! I am learning and am blessed by God's hand on me!

What a beautiful Crisp Morning!

2008-11-22T09:15:00.003-06:00

Good morning to all of you bloggers! Have a wonderful day! I am off to catch up on some homework. It is not my favorite class, but it sure feels good when I am done with the assignments that come due. I am learning a lot about Word 2007 and Microsoft Office. You buy a computer that has the Office on it, but in 23 sessions, you will no longer have Office. Now you go to the 60 day trial, my next step, and then, well, run out of options, will need to but a key that has 23 or so characters. Then you are suppose to down-load only on one computer. I will be glad when I can do this!

You all have a blessed day in the mighty name of Jesus Christ!

What Really Happens To Our Minds When We Get Old?

2008-11-21T18:38:00.002-06:00

What do you consider old may be a question to ask first? I think that old is 80 and up. I know that some people that I know would say 60. Okay-next question! What really happens to our minds when we get old? You can read a million books, studies, hypothesize, or just wonder. Did you ever think that maybe going to someone and asking them? I did and got a different answer every time. Talk about variety being the spice of life. I really think this is interesting! I was told that how people act when they get or are old is actually what his or her personality is like. Look out! That is scary!! Basically, we have free-will and can usually control our behavior and attitudes and blow-ups! I really am working on not bottling it all up and trying to talk thru whatever is bothering me. Boy, this really drives people nuts when I just don't "get it"! I won't mention any names for fear of incriminating myself!

Often times, there is a lot of anger associated with getting old. Understandably so too! I want to just live life to the fullest and then fall over or go in my sleep! What better way is there?

Blessings my dear one!

A New Friend!

2008-11-20T22:41:00.002-06:00

I have connected with a blogger and what a sweet fragrance comes with this friendship-Jesus Christ!! I am blessed to meet my new friend.

I am so thankful for those who are not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ! He was not ashamed to hang on the cross for you and me! I am in awe of Jesus! He gave it all! His Daddy gave His only son. Wow!! Can you imagine the weight of the sins of the world. Who wouldn't sweat blood with that kind of weight?

As Thanksgiving is just a week away, think of all the things you are thankful for! I will begin with the first one now. I am thankful for you!

Blessings!

A Prayer Goes A Long Way!

2008-11-20T22:39:00.002-06:00

I ask all you prayer worriers to please pray for a youug woman who is in the hospital. She is only 27 weeks along and has dialated 4cm. Please pray! Blessings!!

2008-11-18T20:14:00.002-06:00

I have been wondering alot lately why things happen? There is a reason for everything. There is a season for everything. I had a moment today that I just jump out of my chair and said I am tired of being sick and tired. I think we all tend to go thru those times and wonder if it is ever going to end.

In the end, God is a big God. He is bigger than anything we are facing. I want to encourage whomever may read this that God is working. He has a plan and I don't want to miss it. He is so loving and awesome.

I think I am going to like blogging! I like writing and hope you like reading! To all my new blogger friends, "Hello!"

I also ask that you prayer worriers would keep this household in your prayers as we need and covet all prayers! Thank you and blessings be upon you in Jesus Name!!