Please don't tell me to hang in there. Please don't tell me to be strong. If I cry, it doesn't mean that I am loosing it. If I weep, it doesn't mean that I am weak. Please pray for me and know that I will be alright. I will be taken care of. I am in the best hands of all. I am in Daddy's hand.
Michael and I have been married for nearly 16 months now. This journey has not been anything like I thought it would be. I am learning to choose my battles and to let many of them go. If I don't let go, I find myself sick, physically. God is a faithful God who is working in me as I cry out to Him for refuge and strength in times of battle and in victory.
I never entered this relationship with the intent to change Michael, but my hope would be that he would change. Yes he has, and like me, we are a work in progress. There are the small changes that have taken place in both of us. Then there are the changes that have taken place because if not, we wouldn't still be married. I never thought it would be such a roller coaster ride.
Thankfulness, forgiveness, faith in God, and inviting Jesus into the center of all areas of my life is what keeps me going. Oh yes, I could choose to fall into the depression that knocks on my door. I choose not to. Being effective in the kingdom of God is what I am called to do. That has many facets to it, but being obedient to my calling is the most important objective in my life. Being a wife and being submissive, WOW!!!, I had no idea that it would be so hard! I don't take joking lightly when it is a constant companion of my mate's. I don't like it either. I am praying for Michael to hear me and to be sensitive to my needs in this area. Letting go in this area is so hard, but I am pressing in to Daddy for help.
In March I bought a puppy. His name is Frenchy LeRue. I never thought I would fall in love with a dog again after the ones that passed away. Frenchy has captured my heart from the first time our eyes met. I can only imagine when God gives me children what that experience will be like. I wait in expectation of what God has for me and my husband. I love Michael, his son Vinnie, and so many others. Jesus has filled me with this love for people. For this, I am thankful.
Please let me know if you read my blog. I know that you have to have a blog to post a comment. God Bless You!
I am learning what it means to be a wife to a hurt man. It is ture that hurt people hurt people. If you are not healed, you will not learn how to treat others the way they really ought to be treated, with unconditional love. It is hard not to want to quit, to say that it is over, and then pack up the bags and go somewhere, anywhere, but here.
I am not quitting, but I have my boundaries. Jesus Christ is my lover and my husband first. I never thought I would be in the boat that I am sailing in today. Hope and prayers are keeping going. I ask you join me in praying for my husband and my marriage. I am applying grace as I have been given much grace. Forgiveness-I am willing to forgive. Unconditional love is in my heart, but I am so guarded. Is this really a marriage or just a mere arrangement between two people?
It has been sometime since my last posting. I am learning how to be a woman of God, a wife, a step-mom, and balance the life before me. I am grateful for the family of God who help me each day and pray for me each day.
I am blessed to be where I am today and will post a list soon.
I am about to be married. I am grateful to/for the friends I have who take the time to councel and love me through the tough times of walking through the uke! I am grateful for the issues coming out now between him and me. I am grateful to become his wife and lover. I pray that I may not be just those things, but to blossom into the woman I am becoming in Lord. I cannot die but live life in Jesus's love! I am to thrive and soar to new heights with this man that I will soon call "husband". Wow, what a day that will be. A day of joy and relief. A day of "let's get outta here!" and yet, the beginning of a life together that seems to have already begun.
I know things will be different for Michael and me, but yet, there will be the same two people who met, offically, for the first time over two years ago. We have been in front of each other our whole lives and now becoming one, in Christ Jesus.
I am asking for your prayers in this union of our lives. I thank each one of you for taking the time to stop by. Please leave a scripture, words of encouragement, or just read and pray. I appreciate each one of you today! God richly bless you and your loved ones!
It seems to be a season of losses. This too will pass. My aunt past away on Christmas day and we had a grave-side service for here last Friday. I was reminded of the good times we had with her sister and my sister. It was a good time with cousins, siblings, and the older folks that I hadn't seen in years who where Aunt Betty's friends! I went to a visitation with my husband-to-be the week before and now another one tonight. A dear friend lost her aunt too. Death will never end and life does seem to carry on. We have to go on, carry on about our lives, and remember the to cherish the times with the loved ones who have gone on. This reminds me of a calling on my life. I am to be an evangelist, to disciple, encourage, and much more. I shall go on with my calling!
I am one who seeks to live a full life. I desire to be the best I can be. I hope to be a positive influence to others. I hope when I part company with someone, they will think it was a positive experience. See, I really do care what others think and say and feel! Oh yes, I really love to read and I never thought I would become a blogger.