A Short Visit Will Just Have To Do For Our First!

Michael is flying into Madison on January 1, 2009. What a way to start out a new year! I am excited! He is nervous and scared! He will be flying back to Delaware January 3. WOW!!! Short visit, but he has reasons why and I respect them! I ask for prayer as we take this step of faith. We both desire the will of God in our lives! Neither of us want to be with the wrong person! We are in agreement and on the same page! Time will tell all things! Not my will, but thine be done Lord!!

Blessings!!!

He Is Coming To Me!!!!

After much prayer and seeking God, he has decided he needs to come to me!!! Thank you Daddy for hearing my plea! I spoke the truth to Michael and he said he never wanted me to be uncomfortable. He actually stated just the opisite several times! He was trying to figure things out that was the best for both of us! I am thankful he hears God and listens! I found a place for him to stay and I will be there with him and my sister and my dad and my sister's fiance. There will be plenty of supervision!!!! Funny how this sounds, but I don't want any Christian's witness to be compromised when there is a choice of free-will!!! I am blessed by this man and pray for God's hand, direction, and wisdom!

I am excited and yet guarded! If all goes well, he will be here next week sometime! I ask for your continued prayers! Blessings be upon each of you!

Reflection

After a few hours in a small house with about 13 people, I came to a point that I just wanted air! When I went to my brothers house that is about 20 minutes away from Reedsburg, I knew before I left Reedsburg that it was going to be a difficult visit. I did not know I was going to be the one to walk out after being there only five minutes!!!!! You see, I have this thing that I pray is now resolved. My brother's girlfriend has not liked me from day one and everytime, exept Thanksgiving at the same place, she doesn't talk to me unless I say something first. She walks right by me and just mumbles!

I decided that I didn't want to be put in jail for running over my brother because he wouldn't get out of the middle of the road and let me drive away as I requested of him! I really didn't want her to win and so I let the words that my sister and brother told me sink into my inner being and penatrate me! For the first time ever, I felt the support of my biological family at the same time! I was overwhelmed and my brother's girlfriend and I kept distance until the last 45 minutes I was there. Then we had to sit in the same room to open gifts! I knew that I was correct in the things I spoke to her. I showered her with love and applogies and all she could do was rip me apart! You know, I thought at one moment when I was sitting in my car, what did Jesus feel when everyone betrayed him. He died in the midst. I am free because I chose to tell her before I left, "I love you very much. I will never stop loving you. I am sorry there has been this tention and it stops now!!" She couldn't speak and she and I held each other in an embrace where I prayed over her blessings in the name of Jesus Christ!!

I care about what people think of me and about me. When it comes to my family, I haven't been supported much at all. I am looked upon as different and rebellious! I am to the ways of the world and I love the person whom God is transforming me into! I don't want to quit, give up, or fail. I am learning, loving, and leaning on God as I go forward!

I appreciate all I have and the things I need are being provided for by the living and awesome God!! Blessings as you go through your trials and blessings as you stand in the name of Jesus Christ!! Loving you!!

Christmas Is Not Just December 25!!

Christmas is truely everyday for me! Through my attitudes and challenges lately, I find myself in awe of what Christmas really is about! It is not the food that I am longing to eat that is not healthy nor good for me at all! It is not that I cannot have that homemade fudge that is sitting on the counter that smells divine! It is not about the potatoes and cranberry sauce that stares at me when I sit down to eat a plate of raw veggies! It is not about what I cannot have or do not have! It is, however, about a Man who came to earth as a baby. He was born of a virgin, lived a sinless life, tempted by the devil, saught God for all things, and died for you and me!!! That is not the end! He rose on the third day. Walked and talked with His disciples and then accended into Heaven to sit at the right hand of our Father in Heaven-His Daddy and my Daddy too!!

I have had a hard time getting through this holiday season because my focus has been on me and what I cannot have to eat! I am pushing through the struggle to see health and prosperity, not continued health issues, disease, pain, and death at a young age! I will push through with a renewed sense that I know in whom I believe and am pursuaded He is able to take me through because He brought me to!!!

I truely am filled with Joy Joy Joy today as I am a lone at the house with time to think and reflect. Jack and Lynda away with family and I was going to go but another option to see my niece came up and I jumped. You see, I have not seen her for nearly three years and from what I have been told, she has changed and is developing into a young lady! I don't want to miss see her! She is like a daughter to me. I help my brother raise her and her brother for a period of time. What an eye opener for me! She came to see me as a mother-figure and I saw her as a daughter-figure. I always told her not to disrepect her true mother as she won't want to regret it later!!

I am working at church right now and am glad that I have this time alone! I love being at a place with quietness and solitude where I can commune with Daddy! There is nothing like that in the world, just me and Daddy! I don't spend enough time with Him and I know it! I am working out my salvation and know that I am loved with an everlasting love! I love God more than anyone or anything! I desire to be in the center of His will for me. I don't want to be to the left or to the right!

I am asking for God's direction with meeting a fella who lives in Delaware. He has been trying to find a flight for me and a place to stay as I won't stay with him alone without his sister there. She won't be coming home from Ghana when orginally thought! God is a good God! He has our best interests in His hands! Yes, I do trust Him!!

I pray your Christmas day was great! I pray that everyday you keep Christmas in your heart!!!

Here's loving you!!

So Much On My Mind!!

I started internet surfing on a Christian dating site! I keep asking why am I doing this? I desire to be in the will of God so much, my heart aches! I have come across a fella on the site who seems to be sold out 100 percent for Jesus Christ! At the same time, I keep thinking about this other person who I care a great deal about, but it seems that there are so many unfavorables with him! He is desiring growth in the Lord, a wife/mate, and not sure about the rest! He is older than me. I have spent a lot of time with him! I am able to be me and I feel security and a safeness with him! I know that God is bigger than my desires and He will guide me as I seek Him!

I have had a lot of shame and condemnation from my family for so many of the choices that I have made! I know that it is my responsibility to ask Jesus Christ into this! I cannot let what others say and do be a deciding factor for me to become hard-hearted and bitter! I have tended to be a people-pleaser. What about a God-pleaser? That is what it is really about! Am I out to satisfy people or God? I have failed miserably and I know it! I have disappointed my Daddy and savior, and I know it! I have caused sadness to my God! I am here to say that I know that I am a child of the living God, saved by grace, and pressing on towards the goal-Heaven!!

I have taken a proactive approach to my health issue and become serious enough to go through a serious change in my lifestyle and get healthy! I am not eating sweets, sugars, fake sugars, diet or regular pop, fried foods cooked only in coconut or olive oils only, black tea and coffee (no creamers!!!!!!!!!!!)! There is no more grains, anything white except califlower, no popcorn, corn, candy, goodies, ice cream, any dairy is gone, except goats milk! I am loving goat yogurt!! Ummie!! It has maple syrup in it, but, not much! You may ask, what am I eating? Well, mostly raw veggies, raw nuts, raw pumkin seeds, veggie chips, chicken, salad, water, water, water, more water, lemons, gala apples, more water, and Jesus!! I can have meats that are not injected with hormones or antibiotics! Absolutely no pork or seafood. I am taking enzymes, hydrochloric acid, a lot of c, d, iron, strong multi that the body can actually absorb! I have been craving beets! Not sure why! Oh yah, no butter! I have been detoxing the past two days and have a feeling that it is not over! I didn't even go to church this a.m. as I could hardly stand up much less walk! I am so cold and tired! I ache all over! I am looking forward to health and wholeness!! I praise God for a Godly woman whom He has placed in my life that won't let me get away with any cheating, although I get real angry when she says no to ice cream for my late birthday celebration with my girlfriend!!

I finished the semester of college with a 3.65 gpa! That is a record for me! I have never had such good grades!! I was getting two failing grades, from all of my absentees for the semester, the last week of school. I worked extra hard and it paid off!! I was so happy and couldn't understand when I told people why they weren't more like dancing for joy with me than just I am happy for you! Okay, I had expectations that some would dance with me, I admitt! Jesus did!! College starts back up January 12.

Wow, this is long! I am planning on flying, for the first time, to Newark, Delware, in January! I am excited as I had stated, I have never flown before and now at 30, I am seeking new adventures, probably flying alone!! When I watched Autralia, I had the experience that I felt like I was in an airplane! For the first time, I didn't close my eyes or scream at the feeling of falling from the sky! (I hate those dreams!!) I enjoyed the movies so much, I want to watch it over and over!!

I will blog again soon! I am experiencing some family issues this year as the Christmas season is here and I won't be with them! I have to do what I have to do! I ask for prayer for my family and their hard-heartedness and disapproval of me!

Blessings!

Obedience To The Father!!

When you know that you know that you know you are being asked to do something that is not going to be pleasant, but you have to do it. You know what I mean? There has been this certain gentleman that I have been trying to be at a friendship state with and just get to know each other. Well, I think it is not working all that well. He wants to do the things that people who are getting married do. I cannot take the pressure nor do I want him to continue to believe that I am his wife to be, especially when I have doubts and questions!! When someone doesn't know himself, what he wants, it is hard to try to bring someone else into the picture. I know I have at least another two years of school. I need to stay in this area until I am released! That I know I have not been released and don't think that it is going to be within the next year or two. I am seeking God on every area of my life and don't want to miss what He is asking of me! Believe me, I desire a godly-man who is so in love with Jesus, he is bubbling! I want lots of children or as many as God blesses me with! I don't want any of these things outside the will of God however!

I know in whom I believe and trust. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that I deserve the best man that God has for me and I am not to settle for anyone less than God-picked and delivered! I am at a point in my life, now more than ever, that all I really desire is to be where God wants me. As I go through the fire, I am seeing the love of the Father more than ever. He is giving me His love through being with Him in the alone times with Him. God is showing me with His love through His children. He is showing me that as I go forward, I am never alone nor am I forsaken!!

It is trying times for all! God is on the throne and here am I Lord! Send me!!

He is sending people!

Blessings!

A Request Of Readers Of My Blog!

If you would and are able to, please sign in as a follower and leave me a comment as words are important to me! Thank you for taking time to stop by!!

Blessings!!

Oh My!! It Is Cold!!

I was out about two hours yesterday and my face was on fire whenever I came in last night and today. Then again today, I have been out in the piercing wind putting the letters up at church in the outside sign. I never can remember the correct name for it! I was greatful for the second pair of hands! Then I walked to the neighbors and it is cold!!

I was driving in the blizzard and I really wanted to go to an empty parking lot and do some wheelies. I felt like a kid today!!

After our church service today, I think I had so much on my mind, I was spinning. I continually had someone asking me questions. "When are we going? Why are standing here? What are we waiting for? Well, I guess I might as well go and just sit!" I just looked at the gentleman and said that I need thirty seconds and I will start the car, pull it up to the door so you don't have to walk down the hill and take a chance in falling, and then we can go home for some hot chili! His reply was simple "Sounds good!" (with a laugh)

I am blessed and encouraged and relieved and challenged all in one day within a few moments of each other. When financial matters get discussed, it is always personal and people tend to get defensive. For the first time, I didn't get defensive! I just felt a peace that God is taking care of me! Peace!!! Thank you Lord!!

Blessings on this wonderful winter day!!

This Pictures Warms Heart!!

I was reading one of the blogs I follow and I saw this. I have never been so moved in so many ways at once!! I love this picture of Lynda and her grandbaby!! Two children at play and not a care in the world at that moment in time!! I love it!!

I just did something I have never done myself!! Lynda has always died my hair. Not to mention, I had never had my hair died until I met Lynda! If you visit her blogsite that is linked to the picture, you will see the new me!! I would not have look this lady-like if I hadn't encountered the new me that came out after I have lived with Lynda! Okay!! She is rubbing off and I am loving it!!

I am finding that there is a femine side of me that I have never let blossom. It is kinda scary and yet, freeing to allow it to blossom!! It is amazing what God can do if you let Him take the wheel! Here is my wheel Daddy! Lead me!!

I am asking for prayer as a few things are happening in my life that could be life-changing, depending on the outcome, obviously! I go see a specialist on Wednesday and am not looking forward to it. I am also wanting options and answers. I am on a three-month friendship trial-basis run thingy with a fella who is determined he wants to marry me. I am asking all to pray as I may have in previous blogs. I really want to hear God, not T, not flesh, not me! Only God's will do I want in my life!!

Blessings on all who visit here!! Blessings on all who don't, too!:)

Winter Is In The Air!

I shoveled for the third time today before heading off to class and then work! It felt good about an hour later. I had a little more energy and the job is done till the next snow fall!

I am excited that Jack and Lynda will be coming home tomorrow evening/night! It seemed weird and good for them to be away with their daughter and son in law and other family members for the week. Here, I, feel as overwhelmed now as I have been feeling. The added stress is that I want to make sure the house is clean for Lynda to come home to. That really blesses her and I try to bless her in ways that I know bring a smile to her face and a warmth to her heart!!

I feel like I am on edge a lot lately. My health is better than a lot of others! I know that the condition that I am dealing with is serious and not to take God for granted is essential! I praise Him for the healing He continues to do! I know I have a big part in it too!

Blessings to all!!