Prayer is Needed and Appreciated

Please don't tell me to hang in there. Please don't tell me to be strong. If I cry, it doesn't mean that I am loosing it. If I weep, it doesn't mean that I am weak. Please pray for me and know that I will be alright. I will be taken care of. I am in the best hands of all. I am in Daddy's hand.

Farmboy and Me

Michael and I have been married for nearly 16 months now. This journey has not been anything like I thought it would be. I am learning to choose my battles and to let many of them go. If I don't let go, I find myself sick, physically. God is a faithful God who is working in me as I cry out to Him for refuge and strength in times of battle and in victory.

I never entered this relationship with the intent to change Michael, but my hope would be that he would change. Yes he has, and like me, we are a work in progress. There are the small changes that have taken place in both of us. Then there are the changes that have taken place because if not, we wouldn't still be married. I never thought it would be such a roller coaster ride.

Thankfulness, forgiveness, faith in God, and inviting Jesus into the center of all areas of my life is what keeps me going. Oh yes, I could choose to fall into the depression that knocks on my door. I choose not to. Being effective in the kingdom of God is what I am called to do. That has many facets to it, but being obedient to my calling is the most important objective in my life. Being a wife and being submissive, WOW!!!, I had no idea that it would be so hard! I don't take joking lightly when it is a constant companion of my mate's. I don't like it either. I am praying for Michael to hear me and to be sensitive to my needs in this area. Letting go in this area is so hard, but I am pressing in to Daddy for help.

In March I bought a puppy. His name is Frenchy LeRue. I never thought I would fall in love with a dog again after the ones that passed away. Frenchy has captured my heart from the first time our eyes met. I can only imagine when God gives me children what that experience will be like. I wait in expectation of what God has for me and my husband. I love Michael, his son Vinnie, and so many others. Jesus has filled me with this love for people. For this, I am thankful.

Please let me know if you read my blog. I know that you have to have a blog to post a comment. God Bless You!

Prayer and Jesus

I am learning what it means to be a wife to a hurt man. It is ture that hurt people hurt people. If you are not healed, you will not learn how to treat others the way they really ought to be treated, with unconditional love. It is hard not to want to quit, to say that it is over, and then pack up the bags and go somewhere, anywhere, but here.

I am not quitting, but I have my boundaries. Jesus Christ is my lover and my husband first. I never thought I would be in the boat that I am sailing in today. Hope and prayers are keeping going. I ask you join me in praying for my husband and my marriage. I am applying grace as I have been given much grace. Forgiveness-I am willing to forgive. Unconditional love is in my heart, but I am so guarded. Is this really a marriage or just a mere arrangement between two people?