It Is Hard When You Know You Have To Do Something That May Hurt Someone Else!

I had asked a friend to go with me to Madison as I sometimes have trouble staying awake especially with Jack, as he doesn't talk much. I also thought that it would be good for us to get to know each other better. This is the gentleman who is 26 years older and dead-set on marrying me! The trip was great Wednesday. He wants to change his life-style and get healthy, and on and on and on. I stated that this change has to be because you want it and that you know God has called you to it. Do Not Do This For Me! It won't last if you don't do it for someone else! All was great! We had a wonderful time! You already hear the BUT... don't you?

I asked if he wanted to come have Thanksgiving with me wherever it be. Plans changed I think four times, at least! He didn't care as long as he was with me! I thought, oh boy! He's got it bad!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept telling him that he is not marriage material for me. I am not ready. I have two years here. He was all fine as long as we could be together. I didn't want to hurt him, but may be it would have been better to say, no, go do what you where going to do. This way a great eye-opener tho!

Sorry, I am jumping ahead, maybe! We ended up at Dad's and Heather's place with Dale, Heather's fiance (my sister) and then T and I. All was fine till they ate supper as I was not feeling well! Then, things got uncomfortable and I finally just said to T, we need to go! Again, he said he was just fine with that! I couldn't get away fast enough. I didn't understand until I got home and then God spoke to me last night and then today.

I told T on the way home that I cannot be in a realationship with him! I see him as only as a friend! He is ten chapters ahead! HOLD ON BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally just said today that I am not feeling well! I need space and will not spend anymore time with him for now. I will not go dancing with him and the other couple tonight! I thank God for, once again, prayers and opening my eyes!!!!!!!!! He is so giving and that is when you have a messed up thinking that may be.... Been there and don't want to go back!

I ask that you please keep T in your prayers as I cannot believe he is as fine as he says. If he is, great! I told him over and over that he was getting his hope way too high and that he could get hurt!! Thanks for reading and praying!!

Blessings! I am going with my sister and her fiance tonight and watch them dance. This time, I think it will be good!

I have a family Thanksgiving in Cazenovia with my brother and the gang. Please, pray this is a time of blessings and not the usual!! Thank you!!

I have sosososo much to do this weekend and feel sick! God is in control and I love Him above any man!